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eBay Buyer's Guide

ABOUT ME Page that tells users lies about the seller
AS IS Broken, I do not give refunds and I am quick to leave negs.
ADORABLE Ugly
ACTUAL SHIPPING CHARGES A profit center and has nothing to do with actual cost to ship. You should have asked for amount before bidding. See S&H.
ALL SALES FINAL A damaged fake item
ASK QUESTIONS Because I ain't admitting anything.
AUTHENTIC This is a real replica. 500% real!
BEAUTIFUL Ugly in a scary way.
BIN Payment by worthless check received 6 weeks after the auction ended.
BONUS Something extra... a real bad feeling you get when you see what you bought.
BRAND NAME Pasted over generic name (see AUTHENTIC, GENUINE or NOT FAKE)
BRAND NEW A new counterfeit copy.
BRILLIANT SHINE What I just gave it with my buffer (see NEAR MINT).
BUA Butt-Ugly Auction.
CHEAP! Accurate, but does not refer to the price
CIVIL WAR Made in China last week. (China's dispute with Taiwan is a civil war ... right?).
COA Certificate of Authenticity (seller signed the item and typed the certificate personally).
COACH HANDBAG see AUTHENTIC, GENUINE or NOT FAKE.
COLLECTIBLE I have WAY too many of these.
COLORFUL Unknown stains.
CONTEMPORARY Got it at a 99 cents store. Email me if you want more than one.
CUSTOM So ugly there's only one in the world.
CUTE Crap.
DESIGNER see AUTHENTIC, GENUINE or NOT FAKE.
DIRTY And the dirt is hiding a crack. Or two.
DISPLAYS WELL The other three sides are damaged.
DIY Damaged Item Yesterday.
DON'T MISS THIS ONE! I'm really tired of dragging this around, somebody buy it!
ELEGANT Old and worthless.
EUC Excellent Used Condition, but smells of smoke, covered with dog hair and not stained too bad.
FACTORY ORIGINAL It originally came from a factory.
FABULOUS adjective; lacking factual basis or historical validity
FANTASTIC Unbelievably ugly.
FINE Paint covers flaws, parts taped in place.
FS Factory Sealed. Until I opened it.
FREE SHIPPING It will be 'lost in the mail'
FROM A NON SMOKING HOME Covered with cat hair.
GENTLY USED It's on it's last legs.
GENUINE It is 100% real imitation, not a fake one.
GOOD CONDITION The dents hid the scratches.
GORGEOUS Really ugly.
GREAT CONDITION The scratches hid the dents.
GREAT CONDITION FOR SOMETHING THIS OLD I'm going to claim it got damaged in the mail.
HTF Hard to Find ... Will be lost in mail after you pay for it.
HOT 1. Stolen... maybe I'll send it to you, maybe I won't.
2. From a smoker's home complete with cigarette burns.
I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT Oh yes I do. But I'm hoping you don't.
I WAS TOLD THAT THIS IS... No one bought this when I said what it REALLY was.
L@@K I cannot think of one good thing to say about this item.
I'M Leaving EBAY! You will never receive this useless CD after you pay for it.
LE Limited Edition... This is my last one, so it must be limited.
LIKE NEW 1. Deep scratches but I've still got the box.
2. I would "LIKE" to think it is "NEW"... but it's not.
LOVELY Tacky, like a Day Glow black velvet painting of Elvis playing poker with dogs...
MIB Mint In Box. Or perhaps Mashed In Box.
MINT

1. A green color, but it also might be mold.
2. Meticulously cleaned.

99% MINT Meticulously cleaned and almost not broken too much.
NEAR MINT Cleaned even harder and it broke and a part is missing
MODERN From the late 1980's to mid 90's.
MUST HAVE! Must have it out of my house.
NEAT Could use a good cleaning.
NEVER USED CONDITION Not new, and I lost the box.
NEVER WORN I got it at a second-hand store, but "I" never wore it.
NEW Used only a few times.
NIB 1. New In Box. Used and not the original box.
2. Now Its Broken. 3. Nothing In Box.
NICE I'm keeping the good one, and getting rid of this piece of junk.
SUPER NICE I should be whipped for putting this junk up for bids.
NO HIDEN CHARGES Buyer pays for seller's insurance
NO MOLD OR MILDEW Not sure what the stains and smell are from.
NO REFUNDS You are lucky if I send you anything. I will neg you if you complain.
NOT FAKE FAKE.
NOT SURE IF IT WORKS I know for a fact that it DOES NOT work. See "AS IS".
NPB Non Paying Bastard!
NR 1. No Reserve. Large starting bid and ripoff shipping.
2. Needs Restoration. 3. No Returns. 4. Not Recommended. 5. Not Running. 6. Not Reliable. 7. Not Real
NRFB 1. Never Removed From Box. Exceptby the kids.
2. No Reciprocal FeedBack. 3. No Refunds For Bidders.
NWOT New with out tags. I cut them off when I shoplifted
NWT New With Tags - off the back of a lorry.
OLD Useless.
VERY OLD Very useless.
OOAK ONE OF A KIND. Your guess is as good as mine.
OOP Out of print, I couldn't find it in the bookstore at the mall.
ORIGINAL CONDITION Cheaply made
PATINA Rust, mold or graffitti.
WONDERFUL PATINA Deep rust with pits.
PERFECT I have no idea what this is supposed to look like.
PRISTINE I'm making this up as I go along ...
RARE Fewer than 500 listed on ebay this week.
VERY RARE Cheaper at the mall
RECIPROCAL FEEDBACK You leave feedback first.
RECONDITIONED Defective and returned to the factory. see "AS IS".
RETRO I was born in 1990, and my older sister had one of these.
S&H Includes my time, fees, gas, internet and Starbucks coffee.
SCARCE Email me if you want more than one.
SEE MY FEEDBACK I'm quick to neg.
STARTS AT 1 CENT!! S&H is $42. No combined shipping, insurance extra.
STRESS / AGE CRACK Dropped it while I was taking photos.
UNBELIEVABLE Fact. Don't believe a word of it.
UNIQUE Put together from parts last night.
UNUSED I did not use it. It was already broken.
USED Broken, but most of the parts are there.
UNUSED BOOK Withdrawn by the library as no-one read it.
VHTF Very Hard to Find. It will never be sent after you pay for it.
VINTAGE I was born in 1990, and it looks so totally way old to me.
WOW I'm desperate.
WOW!!!!!! I'm really desperate.

 

When I added the page, it was a joke (mostly).

Now it's for real. In fact, it's worse. Caveat Emptor

Risk Free!  Ish!

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