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The Gorilla - 2
| This man
woke up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He came in to ask if
we knew how to get rid of it. Well, we found a guy in the yellow pages.
"Is the gorilla male or female?" the service guy asks;
"Male," was the man's response.
"Oh yes, I can do it. I'll be right there," says the service guy. An hour later, he shows up with a baseball bat, a yorkshire terrier, a large pair of hand cuffs, and a shotgun. We all went out to watch, and explained his plan to the man and gave some instructions:
"Now, I'm going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the bat until he falls. When he does, the yorkshire terrier has been trained to go for his testicles. The gorilla will then cross his hands to protect himself - this will allow you to put the handcuffs on. But whatever you do, hold on to the shotgun until the dog has a grip on the gorilla"
The man says, "I don't understand. What do I do with the shotgun?"
"Hopefully, nothing. But hold on to it until the dog has a grip"
So up the tree he goes, with the gorilla retreating ahead of him. When they get so high the tree is creaking everytime it sways, the guy starts poking at the gorilla. As it gets more and more frightened, it starts screaming like a banshee, and tries to defend itself from the guy with the bat. And all the time the dog is barking in anticipation. The gorilla gets lucky - or the guy gets unlucky - he loses his footing and starts to slip. Sensing victory, the gorilla lashes out, catches him round the face. Our guy manages one shout as he plummets earthwards:
"Shoot the dog!!"
One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and
attempts to earn some money as a street performer. He doesn't do too well,
and just as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags
him into his office. The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's
most popular attraction, a gorilla has died suddenly and the keeper fears
that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to
dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.
|15 February 2017 | sitemap | | | Privacy|