Weirdity Home Page
Custom Search

Autopilot   Bar Bet   Barometer    Breathalyzer   Bubba    Buccaneer   Clown   Couple Democracy   Talking Dogs   Exothermia   Flowers   Gorilla   Gump   Head   Knight   Legion   Marooned   Mamba   Maths   Marx   Meat   Party   Parrots   Pharmacist   Poppins   Porky   Question   Salesman  Shorts   Success   Theorem   Vet   Woman

Porky

A traveller was driving through Arkansas when he lost his way and got off the main highway. he soon found himself driving along a narrow, bumpy, backcountry road. Just as he began to wonder whether he should turn back or drive on until he could find a place to ask directions, he crested a hill and in the valley beyond was the biggest pig farm he had ever seen.

He saw rows and rows of pigsties and pigpens, pigs running in fields and pigs wallowing in mud. Suddenly, his eye caught something really strange. He did a double take, shook his head and then looked again. He wondered if he had seen correctly - it looked like a pig with a wooden leg!

He found the lane to the farm and drove up into the farmyard, where he was met by the farmer. "Excuse me," the traveler said. "I was just driving by and looking at all your pigs, but tell me, did I see right? Is there really a pig out there with a wooden leg?"

The farmer smiled. "That would be old Caesar you saw. He's the finest pig a man could ever hope to have - and smart! Let me tell you a little about that pig. You see that barge down there on the river? That's a mining dredge, taking out platinum ore. Old Caesar sniffed out the vein and showed us how to set it up. Now that dredge brings me in about over 100,000 every year.

"Over there in the meadow, you see those oil derricks? It was Caesar who showed them where to drill. Of course, it is just a small operation but I got a quarter of a million on the mineral lease and each year the wells bring me in about 80,000 in royalties.

"Now, I can tell you are a city fellow and you probably never thought of pigs as being particularly smart, much less intellectual, but there's another thing, too, a little more personal. One night a couple of years ago I got to drinking and I guess I had more than I should have. I passed out drunk, fell down and knocked over a lamp. That started a fire in the house and old Caesar smelled the smoke. He came in the back door, got the wife and kid out, roused me up and got me out.

There is no question about it - that night old Caesar saved all our lives and that is not the sort of thing a man is going to forget too easily."

"This is just amazing!" the traveler said, "I have never heard of a pig like this before! This is fantastic! But tell me, how did he get that wooden leg? Was he in a wreck or something?"

The farmer laughed again, "Well, come on, when you have a pig that smart, you don't want to eat him all at one time!"

15 February 2017  |  sitemap   |  | | Privacy
If you chuckled, send the page to a friend
Diversion to the Quagga Project

Contributions Welcome!