know you have an alcohol problem when:|
1. As you walk into the bar, they pour your 'usual'.
2. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
3. Your job interferes with your drinking.
4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
5. Career doesn't progress beyond Local Politician.
6. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
7. You believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
8. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
9. Two hands and just one mouth ... now THAT'S a drinking problem!
10. You can focus better with one eye closed.
11. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
12. You fall off the floor...
13. Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
14. Hey, five beers has as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
15. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you
16. At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
17. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
18. The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
19. You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and Sex.
20. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
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