"Tough Cookie" Genie Jokes

definitive internet genie joke book
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The Violist-2  |  Sporting Chance

The Violist - 2

A musician from the Chicago Symphony Orchestra ran across an old lamp one day at a garage sale, took it home, washed it up, and out popped at genie.

"Thank you kind sir for releasing me from this old lamp." said the genie, "I regret to say that you have encountered a poor, less powerful genie, and I can only grant you one wish, but wish away."

"Oh that's wonderful. I think I would really like to make a difference in the world with my one wish", said the musician. He thought for a moment and then reached for his atlas. "Here's a map of the Middle East. The people who live there have been fighting for thousands of years. For my one wish, I would like to to bring peace to this land."

The genie, a little caught off guard, said "Oh, well, ah ... that's a little bit too much for even this old master to handle. Aah, ya see, these people ... they're involved in that touchy religious stuff, and aah, the kids, aah, they begin fighting when they're just teenagers. I'm afraid you're going to have to make another wish."

"Well, okay." said the musician, "I suppose I was getting a little over the top there! For my one wish, I would just once like to hear the Chicago Symphony viola section play in tune."

The genie thought for a moment and replied, "Um, let me take a look at those maps again."

Sporting Chances

A man was strolling along the Beaches area in East Toronto when he spotted a bottle floating in Lake Ontario. The bottle drifted ashore. He picked up the bottle and opened it. You guessed it, out popped a Genie.

"Master, Master you have released me from my 1,000 year bondage in this bottle, ask any three wishes and I will grant them to you."

The man thought for a moment and said, "I would like the following three things to happen this year -- The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup, the Toronto Blue Jays win the World Series and The Toronto Raptors win the NBA title.

The Genie thought about this for a moment and said, "What's another thousand years?" and jumped back in the bottle.

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This site is dedicated
to the memory of
Karen Carpenter
1950 - 1983,
a Genie who never
escaped from the bottle
Karen Carpenter