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The Talking Dogs

The butcher was working, and really busy. He noticed a dog in his shop and shoo'd him away. Later, he noticed that the dog was back again. He walked towards it, preparing to utter strong words, and noticed that the dog had a note in his mouth.

The butcher took the note, and read it; "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please." The butcher looked at the dog again, and saw a ten dollar bill tucked into his collar. So the butcher took the money, put the sausages and lamb in a bag, and placed it in the dog's mouth. The dog trotted off down the road.

The butcher was very impressed, and since it was closing time, he threw his apron on the block, shouted to his assistant to lock up, and followed the dog. The dog walked down the street and came to a crossing. He put down the bag, jumped up and pressed the crossing button. Then he waited patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to change. When they did, he walked across the road, with the butcher following.

The dog then came to a bus stop, and started looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe at this stage. The dog, having checked out the times, sat quietly on one of the seats to wait for the bus. When the bus arrived, the dog walked to the front of the bus, looked at the number, and returned to his seat. Another bus came. Again the dog went and checked the number; satisfied that it was the right bus, he climbed on. The butcher, by now open-mouthed, followed him onto the bus.

The bus travelled thru the town and out to the suburbs. Eventually the dog got up, moved to the front of the bus, and, standing on his hind legs, pushed the button to stop the bus. The dog got off, groceries still in his mouth, and the butcher still following.

The dog approached a house. He walked up the path, and dropped the groceries on the step. Then he walked back down the path, took a big run, and threw himself against the door. He went back down the path, took another run, and threw himself against the door again! There was no answer at the door, so the dog picked up his bag, jumped up onto a narrow wall, and walked along the perimeter of the garden. He got to a window, and banged his head against it several times. He then walked back, jumped off the wall, and waited at the door. The butcher watched as a big guy opened the door, and started laying into the dog, really yelling at him.

The butcher ran up to stop the guy. "What the heck are you doing? This dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for God's sake!" To which the guy responds, "Clever? I think not! This is the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"


A dog went into a Job Centre and asked "Do you have any jobs?"
The advisor said "Wow! You can talk. Is it genuine?"
"Course it's genuine, how about a job?"
"Come back in half an hour" said the advisor "I'll have no trouble fixing you up". After the dog left, he immediately rang Gerry Cottle (the circus owner) and says "You won't believe this, but I've got a genuine talking dog looking for work"
"Yeah" says Gerry "I've been had like this before"
"No" said the adviser "He's genuine, I guarantee it"
"OK" says Gerry "If he's genuine he can start next Monday, £500 per week"
Just then the dog returns "Any luck?" he asks
"Yep" says the advisor "You start with Gerry Cottle on Monday, £500 per week"
"Great" says the dog "But what does Gerry Cottle want with a bricklayer?"


A man notices a sign in a pet shop window "Talking Dog for Sale". Intrigued, he enters and asks the shopkeeper if he can see the dog.
"I believe you can talk" says the man.
"Yep" replies the dog.
"So tell me about yourself" the man continues.
"Well," says the dog, "I discovered I had this gift pretty young and
approached the government. In no time at all I was being flown from
place to place to eavesdrop on world leaders. Later I became tired of the travelling and took a job as an undercover security guard at an airport, where I thwarted a hijacking. I was given a huge reward and was able to retire"
Amazed by this, the man asks "How much for the dog?"
"Ten quid" comes the reply.
"But this dog is amazing" says the man "Why so cheap?"
"He's a liar" says the pet shop owner, "He hasn't done any of those things."

15 October 2017  |  sitemap   |  | | Privacy
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